Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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