Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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