i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
