I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
