The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
My ass is underappreciated
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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