Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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