Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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