you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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