He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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