if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
