come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
