i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I see more hoeing in ur future
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
