You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
