I wish my penis had an off switch
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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