Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
