just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
