we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
