Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
