From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize