So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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