You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
