I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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