Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
