I am puke
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Holy shit dude........stairs
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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