I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
