we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i now understand why vodka
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
