There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
