Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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