Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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