I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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