have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
