he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Randomize
