i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
