Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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