What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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