Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
where are my eyebrows?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
