Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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