Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize