And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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