a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
