Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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