i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Randomize
