First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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