This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize