tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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