What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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