And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
