is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
