I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
