I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Semen is not good for contacts.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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