So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
