they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
