Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
