thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
