The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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