I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
