Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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