Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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