Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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