Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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